America's Next Top Model - Episode 10 Part 1 - Two Broads Have Gotta Go.

Well well well. Where do I even begin. I’m going to split this two hour season finale into two separate blogs, otherwise it will be much too long and no one will bother reading it. So…the first hour. Let’s begin.

FINAL FOUR, BITCHES! It’s down to Raina, Angelea, Krista and Alexandra. The girls are told to pack an overnight bag, and they’re whisked into the air by Mr & Ms Jay. Their challenge is to walk down the aisle (mid-flight…can you imagine?) and show some personality. Krista is fun and bubbly, Alexandra mimics a flight attendant, Raina looks like a linebacker and Angelea bobble heads/giggles all over the place and only has one heel on - she apparently travels very lightly. Teacher’s pet Krista wins the challenge, and gets $2000 worth of sparkly jewels. Since she was the first photo called last week, she gets an extra $1000 worth, and has about 25 little blue boxes piled high with trinkets. Bitch opens every single box in front of the other girls and doesn't offer to give them anything. Someone doesn’t have any manners!

PHOTOSHOOT
The theme of the photo shoot is “ugly pretty”, not to be confused with “pretty ugly”. The girls get Sweeny Todd-ified with renaissance outfits, crazy hair and black lips and get to work. They find out that not one, but TWO of them will be going home. The pressure is on.

Krista’s natural eyebrows have been replaced with giant, circular clown ones which are drawn on her forehead. Her outfit is all kinds of ugly, but she of course rocks the shoot. The end result is so perfect that Andre almost starts crying. There is no doubt in my mind that Krista is winning this competition.

Raina looks like Mozart. Her photo ends up being quite strong, but is it strong enough? She’s all squinty.

Angelea looks like she has no eyelashes, and she doesn’t have any oomph. Also, wtf is with the photo being all blurry? You mean to tell me that out of that entire shoot, the absolute best picture looks like it was taken by Mohammed Ali? Totally calling BS on that.

Alexandra looks half decent – for a fatty. Her face is gripping, she’s staring intently, and playing with her ring, which for some reason Tyra quite likes.

JUDGING
The first name that Tyra calls……………..is……….
Krista. As expected, Krista is moving on to the final.

And now we have the bottom three. The next name Tyra calls will be in the final two, and the other girls will be sent home. Raina has a beautiful, romantic face but still isn’t coming out of her comfort zone. Angelea has the worlds biggest zit on her chin and didn’t cover it up, which is clearly grounds for dismissal. Alexandra has a beautiful plus sized body, but, its still plus sized.

The name Tyra calls is…

Raina.

Wow – that actually really surprised me. I would have guessed Angelea in the top 2, but it was not to be. Tyra keeps The Brows in the game and sends the other two packing. Bye bye ladies!




That concludes Part 1 – Part 2 coming up!

ANTM - Episode 10 Part 2 - The Very End.

So it’s down to Krista and Raina. Not surprised at all by Krista, but Raina? Wow, have to say I’m shocked. She seems much too sporty and handsome to be in the final two. I guess the mixture of Denise Richards/Rebecca Romjin/Brooke Shields really paid off for her!

So what do the girls do now that they’re alone? Head to a huge pimp shack and sip champagne, of course! But, alas, as soon as they start to enjoy themselves, Ms. Jay appears and gives them their assignment: learn the lines to the upcoming Cover Girl commercial shoot. The girls put down their drinks and immediately start rehearsing. Ladies, if there’s one thing I’ve learned in life, its that you can always drink champagne, even while memorizing important lines. It’s called multitasking.

COVER GIRL/SEVENTEEN SHOOT
The girls get all primped up for the commercial – Raina thinks that her bubbly personality will outdo Krista’s more serious approach, and Krista thinks Raina is annoying as shit. We get a blast from the past when Nicole (aka Bloody Eyeball) makes an appearance and tries to give the girls a pep talk. Problem is, Nicole hasn’t gotten any better at talking since last Cycle. She sounds super rehearsed and phony, and I’m pretty sure Mr. Jay almost slaps her. At the shoot, Krista keeps messing up her lines. Finally Jay brings out cue cards, and she delivers. Raina sounds good but she cant blend the modeling and acting thing together – she ends up squinting in concentration and losing her best feature, those wolf eyes. On to the Cover Girl photo shoot, and everybody’s favorite hot, straight, male judge – Nigel – is running the show. The girls get dressed in typical gaudy Seventeen Magazine apparel, and take cheesy, smiley pics.




Back at the house, Tyra meets them and tells them she’s going to take family portraits. Bring out the families! As a serious time filler (they’ve really gotta make this 2 hour episode count), we see photos of each girl growing up, and hear their families talk about how wonderful they are. Tyra takes some photos and ****insert shameless www.tyrabanks.com plug here because you have to check out her site to see them***

FINAL CHALLENGE
This is it! The girls now have to “stomp to the death” in an Anna Sui runway show, although this time they are supposed to be happy and having fun instead of wanting the other person to die. Oooo – and Nicole, Alasia, Alexandra, Angelea and Jessica will be happily walking with them. The stylists give Krista a weird John Lennon mini bob hairdo and send her on her way. Krista’s walk is awesome, and she acts fun and flirty. Raina looks pretty but walks like a Clydesdale. The whole walk off is kind of weak – it doesn’t seem like a final challenge to me.

JUDGING – Tyra appears in my favorite one piece of the season:



The girls appear in their final outfits, and good lord Raina, wtf is that? It’s like “Dynasty” meets “Dead Animal”. It even has a tail.



The judges like Krista’s walk and say she looks like she’s walking on air. Tyra tells her that the cheese factor was a little high and that if she pulled that back, it would have been perfect. Raina was cute but clomped down the runway. Tyra liked the clomp and the wind in her hair. Both girls had stunning Cover Girl shots – Raina’s massive eyebrows seem to shrink in photos. The commercial turned out okay, but…I was definitely not running out to buy any Lash Blast mascara. It was too stiff and phony. Over all, Krista is a better model and looks very high fashion. She’s composed and has natural talent. Raina has an exotic look and has the perfect face for photos. Body…not so much. So…it’s time to decide.

America’s Next Top Model is……

Krista. It was nice that they gave Raina a shot at being on top, but this was clearly planned out from about half way through the show.






There you have it folks – another season comes to an end. Thanks for reading – see you in the fall!